I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
