I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Randomize
