She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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