I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
