Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
