yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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