I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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