she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
