I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
