I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
