I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
