I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
