fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
