he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
