I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I supernannyed him into submission
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
