i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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