YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
time to smoke my breakfast
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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