She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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