i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
