I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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