We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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