We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
