kristin has been a bad kristin
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
ttyl tear gas
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Randomize
