ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
