can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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