yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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