Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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