"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Come share oat with me in your robe
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
