You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
