dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
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