you will always have a special place in my vag
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
