dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
