we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
