I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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