I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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