I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
