So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Randomize
