I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Green mimosas i think yes
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
