my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
