I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
