I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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