i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize