We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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