i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
