just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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