I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize