Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
