I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
