I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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