the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
