Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
