when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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