she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
