Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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