Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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