So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
