Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
did you just send me my own nude
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
