You're so nebulous sometimes
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
