I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
