mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
